'Til Kingdom Come

It's almost November 29th. It's my 26th Birthday. I've come a long way since that hospital in San Antonio, Texas. I think it's wise to reflect on how much can happen in a year. Here are some highlights. In my 25th year I got my motorcycle, was Best Man in my Best Friends wedding, learned a lot about Manliness, grew a beard~ twice, took a Ballroom dancing class, moved to a great house in La Mirada, reconciled a friendship, started dating again, laughed till I cried, just cried, learned more of the depths of my sin and heights of His redeeming love, saw John Williams at the Hollywood Bowl, faced some of my darkest days, went to a Polo match, watched all 6 season of Lost, bought a Queen size bed, continued to look for a queen to share it with, got my first TV~ 46" of beautiful HD, stayed up too late with friends, got up too early for work, saw God's provision for every day, rented my first car ~ a chevy aveo, broke more than a few rules, ate a fish eye, biked...

Today I got a refill on some prescription meds I've been taking for the past month to help me in my battle with anxiety and panic attacks. The pills have been a daily reminder of something I hate to face. 1. There is something wrong with me. 2. I'm too weak to battle it on my own. I've spent the last year absorbing as much content on Manliness as I could get my hands on. I've set goals and tried to grow and mature into more of a responsible, strong, committed, man. I even got up the nerve to ask a girl out on a date and buy a motorcycle. I thought things might finally be coming together. Then CRASH! My world seems to collapse like a sandcastle during high tide. I couldn't sleep, eat, relax, work. Everything felt overwhelming. There was been a daily assault on my sense of hope for the future which I want to discuss later. In this battle something has become a clear as the Caribbean sea. My Daily need of God's grace and mercies. Because: 1. There is something wron...